It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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