I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
