Whoa Z and x make the same sound
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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