you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
