There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
