pedialite and red bull = repair kit
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
