Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
