i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
