oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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