Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
