watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
