there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
