i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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