when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
