Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
