how do flat chested girls get laid?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
