Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
