like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
