But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
