she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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