woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
