so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
