don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
