Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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