HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
