There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
