Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
