we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When are your genitals available?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
