I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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