And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
