i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
