Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
