I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
