One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
