Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
