So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
