I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
