I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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