took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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