I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
