Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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