Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
