I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
