yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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