Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
