I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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