what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
