Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
