I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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