Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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