So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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