And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
